You may be wondering just this?, or perhaps you’ve heard all the sensationalised success stories of“how Yoga has changed my life”. Yeah I know it all sounds a bit….well...you know….REALLY? As a Yoga teacher battling a mental health disorder and lifelong depressive illness I may just well be the right person to ask, if indeed Yoga will change your life because I’ve been there, done that ….and got the t-shirt to prove it. (if you taken a look at the Roo Betty store you will in fact already know that)
So let’s start at the very beginning what makes me qualified to answer this question. Well...I’ve suffered from depression my whole life from my early teens to mid forties. I’ve been on medication which at times has helped a bit. I’ve chatted to health professionals and I’ve been diagnosed Bi Polar II. I’ve been suicidal and numb, I’ve cried for days and not wanted to leave my house, and I’ve painted on the smile and talked myself into leaving the front door. I’ve coped and managed at work, whilst having a family and I have a million and one coping strategies. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. I’m now off my medication and surfing through life's highs and lows. But how did I get to this point and how did yoga help?
Do we fail or just evolve? That was the question raised during a very generous chat with a lovely friend yesterday ….and it got me thinking, why am I no longer in love with being a Yoga teacher? Have I actually fallen out of love with Yoga? Or am I just transitioning into something new? Like a caterpillar into chrysalis and then onto a butterfly? That beautiful analogy of finding your wings and flying high…
Was I indeed a failed Yoga teacher or was I something new? Why couldn’t I see this as a positive move? Or am I just on the infamous ‘Yoga Journey’, that many find themselves on?