Roo Betty Writes

Your vibe attracts your tribe?

Are we Friends yet?  You may have been told to go make some or perhaps break up with some?   Mainly for our own good.  Those friends may have been leading you astray or your parents have worried about your loneliness and felt you needed to get out of your shell and go socialise?

If friends have been put high up on the agenda  for you or you’ve been questioning if you really need any, then this blog is for you.

Maybe friends have been hard to find and you’re wondering if you have any real ones? Well here’s a story that you might appreciate.?  It’s my own personal tale of friendship highs and friendship woes.  People who have popped up when I've least expected it and those who have turned out to be wolves in sheep's clothing.  Hopefully you will be able to relate and it might even put your mind at rest.

What jewellery means to Roo Betty

Bracelets, they’ve been around for years.  Over 7000 years to be sort of precise.  We just love this concise history written by Overstock.com here   But what Ruth of Roo Betty loves doing the most is going to museums and having a actual in real life look at the history that is jewellery.  From the ancient Greeks to more modern Victorians, jewellery has been really important to many many people. And somewhat important to me, Ruth, throughout my life.

So what is it that I love about bracelets and jewellery?  Well I’ve had a fascination with anything that sparkles since I was a young girl.  Magpieish in my nature I’m attracted to the shiny and glittery.  I’ve worn all the rings and all the bracelets for as long as I can remember, I’ve even had the broken ones melted down and made into bangles and new rings.  Kinda recycling but also embracing that they are part of my history and I don’t want to let them go. I have life bangles and life rings, that are part of ancestors and memories that I don’t wish to let go of.  They are dear to my heart and are memories of a moment in time.  I even did a project for Horsham Museum styling their Victorian Death Jewellery, which I absolutely loved doing.  The past holds pain, as well as fascination for me.

You may be wondering just this?, or perhaps you’ve heard all the sensationalised success stories of “how Yoga has changed my life”.  Yeah I know it all sounds a bit….well...you know….REALLY?  As a Yoga teacher battling a mental health disorder and lifelong depressive illness I may just well be the right person to ask, if indeed Yoga will change your life because I’ve been there, done that ….and got the t-shirt to prove it. (if you taken a look at the Roo Betty store you will in fact already know that)

So let’s start at the very beginning what makes me qualified to answer this question. Well...I’ve suffered from depression my whole life from my early teens to mid forties.  I’ve been on medication which at times has helped a bit.  I’ve chatted to health professionals and I’ve been diagnosed Bi Polar II. I’ve been suicidal and numb, I’ve cried for days and not wanted to leave my house, and I’ve painted on the smile and talked myself into leaving the front door.  I’ve coped and managed at work, whilst having a family and  I have a million and one coping strategies.  Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t.  I’m now off my medication and surfing through life's highs and lows.  But how did I get to this point and how did yoga help?

Are you ready?   It’s a question we’ve been asking ourselves over and over again the last few weeks.  In short I’m not too sure we are, but just like any new job, house, relationship you may always feel a little bit awkward in the beginning. The newness brings up lots of emotions like feeling, scared, worried and anxious or perhaps you’re just excited?  

When we first went into lockdown way back in March 2019 things went a bit surreal, what about you? Can you remember that far back?  Anyway it all seemed manageable after all it’s just for a few weeks, few months at most.  Jeez how we wish that was the case, but anywho we’re where we are.  To be honest things didn’t get weird until the masks became mandatory ( I still wear one even though I am technically exempt - I wear one because I can't abide the stares or the questions from security guards - quite frankly it's none of your business but then I was never any good at confrontation.  The weirdness started the first time I wore one.  I momentarily blacked up, got very dizzy and had to steady myself by hanging onto a shop fitting.  Things didn’t improve for a long time and even now I still end up with asthma symptoms brought on by an anxiety attack.  For any of you unsure the symptoms here’s a handy list 

How sleep affects your Mental Health

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say something headliney “That sleep cures EVERYTHING!” Yeah, OK, for those wishing to get pedantic, maybe not the cancers and other illnesses of that nature.  But it sure goes some way to making you feel a darn sight better.  From a personal point of view I know that a few hours sleep can make you feel on top of the world.  That 20 minute cat nap does work wonders on your little grey brain cells.  Have you ever had a “Disco Nap” - Oh maybe I shouldn’t be talking about that right now? Because it makes me yearn for a damn good night out.  Anyway, Sleep is like ambrosia, the nectar of the gods and having a decent 8 hours, it’s seen as the gold star of “winning at life”  But if like me your sleep pattern has been one of concern then read on.

Oh my god, I used to just love this song ( you can listen here if you’re a noob to it) As I listen back to the words and melody, I am immediately transported to my art college days.  Where, in order to get over my shyness and the fact that I was surrounded by people, I used to  listen to music constantly.  My favourite at the time was anything Motown.  I just loved the beat. It kept me calm and the lyrics were always so heart-bracingly, beautiful and catchy too. At the time I had a boyfriend, and being a teenager, the affair was tumultuous.  The trials and tribulations of my love life, could be written as a screenplay and I may just get round to that at some point (although I could really do with a ghost writer so I can recall and they can do the writing, lazy I know? - putting it into the universe just for laters sake) 

Anyway, I digress. My heart, at the time, belonged to my first ever “proper” boyfriend. He was sultry, moody and a musical type.  My parents hated him, and as you can imagine, this made me love him more.  But he wasn’t the cause of my broken heart.  The relationship I had with him drove me into the arms of the first real love of my life.

What’s with the label?

Apparently everything needs a label now. God forbid you have to actually find out something about someone by talking to them. It appears nobody wants to be surprised or  learn to love someone's quirkiness or god forbid open a tin and be amazed with the contents. Because without the label who are you really?.  What makes you tick, which illness do you have , what disability or “fault”  or reason for not being able to do something, can all be defined by the label you’ve given yourself.  We all need to know which label we fit in to.  Supposedly making it easier for us to find our tribe, the people we fit in with. Google at the moment is profiling my searches to offer me the news it thinks I want to read right now, labelling me daily in order to give me “the best news experience for me”.(it doesn’t by the way it just gets really samey and boring and makes me switch off)   In marketing you’re asked to niche down and find your “perfect customer” by listing, to the smallest of detail, anything about your ideal client that may be of use in singling out that client.  It’s quite exhausting, and if you’re interested I have attempted to do it on several occasions. Resulting in a really not very useful profile of a  person, who, I very much doubt, actually exists. 

In case you hadn’t noticed it’s almost Christmas.  This year we have welcomed in the Christmas spirit a little earlier than usual (although when I used to work in retail, Christmas began in August and in my book, that’s still way too early).  Did you start early this year?  I’m guessing the effects of Covid meant anything to distract, in a kinda “oooh look over here, sparkly lights” sort of way, was welcomed?  I know I feel better with a little bit of light in the darkness of winter. 

Since having a child, Christmas has become a big thing again, well for our family anyway.  The excitement of a small one has helped heaps.  I love the magic of it, the sparkly lights and the year on year traditions that we continue to make, as our little family.  But that wasn’t always the case for me.  Years gone by, have either been ones of complete disappointment, a drunken haze or a “please can this just be over, so I can get back to real life” rush.  Can you relate?  I guess year on year there have been the great moments, the good times with both friends and family. Many filled with Joy and the obligatory Monopoly game.   But so many of them have been filled with dread, as I’ve got dressed in some extremely itchy jumper, in order to face the ordeal.  To try  and get through the afternoon, with gritted teeth.  I’m sure if we linger on the great and the good, this coming yuletide will feel like a warm hug.  But for many years the gloom and grating relatives used to fill me with dread.

“Be kind!”  probably the most banded about words of 2019/2020.  The most printed slogan on T-shirts - yep Roo Betty also has a tee especially designed with those very words.  But what does it actually mean and are you really embracing the full meaning of those words?

Are you REALLY being kind?

Kindness is important, after all it’s in our DNA, it’s why we thrive.  If we didn’t care and all ran around as individuals all humans would probably become extinct years ago.  When you’re kind it’s like planting a seed, the roots spread out and start to affect others.  But being kind isn’t as easy as you’d think.  

“How are you today?”....a chorus of “Fines” may now be firing back at me ….and again I will ask that question…”How are you really? ”Don’t worry this isn’t a test, this is just me a mental health warrior, survivor if you wish, who through 30 plus years experience has navigated her mental health, analysed it, been to all the therapists and come out the other side a little wiser.  Still learning but actually feeling more in control.  

This isn’t a boast by the way, just an offer of help, a kind word of solidarity because I understand because I’ve been there, still go there.  First hand experience if you wish that I’m giving to you because I care.